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Lately I've been feeling so much like no one is ever going to be able to cope with me because I'm such a mess. I'm never ever going to be able to find someone who can handle me and my sickness. There is no one out there who could look after me and not get fed up with me. Like everyone else, they'll wash their hands of me.

If only I could do the same. If you've been following this blog and my work (and me) for any amount of time you'll know how hard it is for me to get over things and let things go and cope with loss and things coming to an end. More reasons for me to worry about no one ever being able to put up with me. I'm just that crazy obsessed psycho girl who will stalk you into the next century and will absolutely end up making photographs about you. 

I feel pretty hopeless. And then I get angry at myself for thinking these things when I'm only 19 years old but then I justify it because I know it's just how my brain is and then I get sad and the thoughts I just typed out come back and it's a really horrible way to be. 

This is actually pathetic and I have no idea why I'm sharing any of this but I really love this photo and these are the thoughts that fueled its making so here we are. I feel this picture is not unlike some of Robert Mapplethorpe's work so I gave it a tight square crop as a little nod to him.