May 20, 2013

problems


Aaaargh. Didn't quite manage to pull this off how I wanted. Hopefully it all still makes sense.

2013 has been so shit so far. Like I really can't even begin to tell you all of the shit that has happened to me. Every single time I manage to get myself kind of ok or somewhat sorted, something else happens that knocks me back and it's really starting to make me kind of want to give up completely. I don't understand why things just wont go right for me? I try my absolute hardest to be the best person I can be all the time. I try to be kind and polite to everyone (even when they don't deserve it), I go out of my way to help my friends, I help a lot of people through my tumblr. What have I done to deserve any of the bad things that keep happening to me?

Then of course I think too much and start to get really angry at myself for being sad over "silly" things. There is so much hatred and badness in the world and I'm here crying over a stolen iPhone? This is where the photos come in. Over and over I tell myself "I am one tiny person and my problems are nothing in the grand scheme of things", and for too long I used to beat myself up for being sad over seemingly trivial things, but I can't do that anymore. My problems are the worst they can be for me, and I need to get out of this stupid mind set where I compare my life to that of a starving child in the developing world and hate myself for having any emotions at all. 

So while my problems aren't as big as they seem in comparison to like every terrible thing in the world ever, they feel that big to me and they're consuming me completely. They're building up and up and up and I don't know how much more I can take, like I really can't. Things need to get better soon because I'm on the verge of a total complete mental breakdown and I'm also really sick of making really depressing work ugh. 

2 comments:

  1. love these too
    gah i cant pick i love too many :(

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    1. im honestly thinking of just getting these printed massive (or as big as i can afford) i feel like theyre current, similar to the work i eventually want to do and just hmmm HMMM this is hard
      thanks for the help tho :p

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