April 20, 2013

clutter


Anyone who has ever been lucky enough to been granted entry to my bedroom (it's not a place I allow many people go), could tell you how much.. stuff is in there. I keep everything.

I have school diaries from first and second class. I have tickets from events when I was eight and nine years old. I have toys I can't part with. I have clothes I never wear but will not throw out. It is very hard for me to let go of things that were once important to me.

I think this is another reason why I love photography so much. You just press this one little button and a moment, an event, a smile, a touch are frozen forever and I can look at them and relive them whenever I wish.

I can't let things go, I really can't and I know it holds me back so badly and makes certain things hurt more and for longer than they ever should but it's just who I am. I am a sentimental dope and I emotionally attach myself to everything (example: I can't change my tumblr URL because I am attached to it. I could have upgraded my camera body last year but couldn't because it's a sentimental thing... I'm crazy, I know).

I need to have a clear out, physically and emotionally. I feel certain friendships faltering and fading, and instead of dwelling on them I need to just let it go and let the break happen. I need to de-clutter my life of all these things that are no longer important. Throwing out a magazine or a cinema ticket from 6 years ago is not going to end my world, so why do I feel like it is?

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